Science Teaches You 9 Ways To Please Others

We are all social beings. We want the people around us to love us. We need connections and emotional growth. They will help us to develop successful relationships.

The human brain is programmed to bond with others. There are several reasons for this. So it’s not just about survival. We are always looking for positive feelings. They make us grow, soften our fears and ensure that we learn more every day.

You probably know that ‘pleasing’ or connecting with the people around you isn’t always easy. At times you will isolate yourself and prefer solitude. But that way you will never develop the appropriate social skills to make friends or start a new romantic relationship.

Here we give you some simple tips. They are scientifically proven to be useful.

Above all, remember this: only try out the tips that fit your personality. Always be yourself.

1. You want others to love you, but don’t overdo it with compliments

Do not do this. Avoid this pitfall. Praising someone for made-up virtues just to appear friendly oneself never works.

Use flattery in a subtle way. Sometimes less is more (“less is more”). This principle is supported by the theory of gain and loss in the interpersonal attraction between people.

Compliments only have meaning if they are given occasionally and at the right time. If you overdo it, you lose your credibility.

2. Show your own flaws… sometimes

No doubt you have already noticed this behavior. When someone explains how sloppy, clumsy and forgetful he is, the people around him/her more quickly approach him/her. It is easy to identify with such behavior. Fallible people somehow seem more human. Almost immediately we feel empathy for this kind of behavior and for those people.

Many experiments confirm this fact. Someone who spills coffee while entering, someone who stumbles, or who often makes mistakes is more likely to get sympathy.

3. Be close; touch the other now and then, but in a subtle way

What you should definitely not do is enter the other person’s personal space.  Don’t get too close and don’t ‘stick’ to the other person. That way you only create discomfort and rejection.

• But subtle behaviors that exude trust and closeness can still ‘leave a mark’.
• A pat on the back or a gentle, almost unnoticed caress of the arm can quickly create an emotional bond.

4. See others as they see themselves

Use your intuition. Everyone has a certain image of themselves. If someone treats you the opposite way you see yourself, you will feel completely rejected.

If someone is confident, courageous, and outgoing, don’t let them think you see them as shy and self-conscious. Be smart, observe and apply this well-known theory: the theory of self-affirmation.

5. Let the other person talk about themselves and, most importantly, listen

Provide a suitable communication space. Let the other talk about themselves. Be receptive and show interest.

To be liked, you need to be empathetic and know how to handle emotional openness. One of the best strategies for connecting with another person is this: you make the other person feel comfortable enough so that they talk about their life.

Harvard University has published an interesting study on this behavior. The areas of the brain related to motivation and reward are activated when you share information about yourself. This is very positive emotionally.

6. ‘Copy’ the other person’s behavior

This is not to say that you should switch off your personality to take over someone else’s. It’s much easier than that.

• To be liked, you have to forge bonds. There is no better way to do this than by establishing relationships and similarities.
• New York University defines this behavior as the Chameleon effect. If you imitate the other person’s gestures, words, and behavior, it can help you “connect” with the other person much better.

7. Tell the other a secret

What better way to bond than to share a secret? Oh no! This kind of openness can form the intimate foundation of your emotional structure, which is essential for testing and strengthening a relationship.

• People do this with their friends and with their love partners.
• However, the technique of ‘self-affirmation’ must be applied with caution. Use your intuition when deciding who to share your secret with.
• Be carefull. Don’t just follow your heart, but also follow your intuition and your mind.

8. Make friends with their friends

We emphasize again here that this is not about putting aside who you are or your personality. To be liked, you have to show an interest in the things that surround and define the other person.

• What can help with this is building relationships with that person’s friends. In these situations, that is always a guarantee of success.
• You know for yourself how encouraging it is when your partner gets along well with your friends. Everyone has important people in their environment.
• When these bonds are harmonious, we live fuller and happier lives.

Scientists call this a ‘three-dimensional relationship’. If you have several mutual contacts, there is a greater chance that you will become more intimate.

9. Always use humor

Positive emotions are very powerful. A smile or laughing together can light up the heart. It can create a positive attitude and even love.

Remember this fact: if you want someone to love you, don’t focus only on your own problems and fears in the conversations. It’s not a good idea to let your own dark clouds hang over the other person. Because isn’t your goal that you want to blow the other person’s socks off?

Practice the art of ‘contagious’ emotions. Profit is always guaranteed. Make the other laugh. Make sure the other person sees you as someone who knows how to make the most of every moment.

Emotions are powerful forces for forging bonds.  Radiate positive energy and make the difficult easy. Learn to connect from your heart, but always protect your self-esteem.