My Partner Does Nothing In The Household

A lack of cooperation can easily become a constant source of relationship problems. “My partner does nothing in the household” is a phrase we often hear in everyday conversations. We don’t need to do extensive research to see the extreme fatigue and frustration this causes.

In the past, this behavior was approved because the man was responsible for the family’s income, while the woman was responsible for the household. However, times have changed. Today, more and more women provide (a part of) the household income.

Unfortunately, the mentality of the past often persists. Some men still believe that the woman is responsible for the household. 

The number of women who earn their own money, take care of the children and take care of the household is innumerable. On the other hand, the number of men who stop moving after coming home is shockingly similar.

While gender equality is a hot topic today, there are still many things that need to be improved. Women today are still the victims of inequality. Let’s take a look at this situation. What are the causes and what can we do about it?

Why doesn’t my partner do anything in the household?

The image of gender roles has been shaped by history. There has always been inequality between men and women. Especially in marriage there are different expectations.

There are, therefore, many reasons why a person might say that his or her partner is not doing anything in the household. Let’s look at some of these reasons.

1. Dependence

Perhaps your partner has been dependent on others for his or her entire life. If your partner has grown accustomed to the fact that his or her mother used to do all the housework, he or she may not know that now is the time to help.

Your partner may not understand this because he or she grew up in a household where the woman did all the work.

2. Wanting to be in too much control

Sometimes a man does not help his wife in the household. In this case, it may be the fault of the wife, who does not share her household chores with her husband. In this way, the man becomes accustomed to the fact that he does not have to do anything. At some point, he won’t try anymore.

3. They don’t know how

This may sound like an excuse. In many cases this is certainly true, but not always. Sometimes a partner does nothing in the household because he or she has never learned how to do it. If your partner then wants to help you, he or she will create more problems and make things worse.

4. Macho behavior

Today’s society has improved a lot compared to a few years ago. Unfortunately, there are still men who are still a little behind.

• Some think that washing a plate jeopardizes their masculinity.
• Others think they are some kind of king who just needs to be pampered at home.

What can you do about this?

If you’re getting tired of the lack of cooperation when it comes to household chores, it’s time to do something. Here are some tips that can put an end to this situation once and for all.

• Confrontation. Ask your partner why he or she does nothing in the household. Try to make it very clear that cooperation is very important to keep the household order.
• Find out what your partner is good at. Since you and your partner are two different people, it’s important to figure out what’s best for both of you. You will both have different strengths and weaknesses. Try to find out what you are good at.

• To do list. Make a list of all household chores. You can schedule them on different days of the week. In this way, even a forgetful person will be able to remember his or her responsibilities.

Teach your partner to do something in the household

As we said, the problem isn’t always with your partner’s lack of interest. Your partner’s upbringing and your own behavior may have made him or her dependent. Maybe that’s why your partner has no idea how he or she can help you. 

Give your partner some simple tasks. For example, think of:

• clean windows
• to wash up
• remove cobwebs
• put garbage on the street

Then don’t criticize your partner’s work too much. Also, don’t always check whether he or she has done it right. Instead, you better teach your partner how to perform unknown tasks.

Conclusion

Does everything always feel like your responsibility? Does the phrase ‘my partner does nothing in the household’ sound familiar to you?

If you want this to change, it’s important to take the first step. Follow our tips and improve the quality of your relationship and your life. Make agreements that both benefit and can be happy about.