How Do You Deal With People Who Are Always Complaining

Our modern lifestyle has become so demanding that at some point everyone will complain about the things they have to deal with. However, there are also people who always complain, and do almost nothing else.

This is a natural response that allows you to relieve tension in difficult or painful situations. However, sometimes – without realizing it – it steals your energy.

It’s not bad to live with when your friends are going through a rough time. Nevertheless, it can do more harm than you might think to listen to people who are always complaining.

The most concerning aspect is that this behavior can become very toxic and manipulative. So much so that you start to think you’re insensitive or selfish just because you don’t want to be there anymore.

That’s why it’s important to learn how to spot people who are always complaining. And how to understand the effects of their negativity on your life.

The complainant’s profile

These individuals deny the life they lead. He or she is always trying to be a victim by complaining about what they have or don’t have. Most of all , they never do anything to change the things that bother them the most.

It may seem normal at first. Over time, you come to realize that their complaints are not the result of a difficult situation they are in. Their complaints stem from a habit that is already part of their lifestyle.

It is either a conscious or an unconscious form of manipulation. During the manipulation, the complainant tries to evoke feelings of guilt, compassion or solidarity. This is to avoid having to take responsibility for their own lives.

Suddenly it feels like it’s your duty to help them solve their problems. Or at least wipe their tears away anytime.

The consequences of dealing with people who are always complaining

People who always complain are so negative that it can suddenly feel like you are burdened with much more than you should.

Even if you have the ability to help or advise this type of person, being exposed to their nature is enough to consume a significant portion of your energy.

While it may be difficult for you to see, this causes your brain to change because of the emotions  generated as a result of someone else’s situation.

Feelings such as frustration, guilt and sadness alter the processes in the brain that release hormones. This increases the risk that you will suffer from:

• emotional imbalance
• find it difficult to solve problems
• reduced concentration
• negative thoughts

What can you do to confront a complainant?

Not everything in life goes the way you planned. After all, you often have to take on challenges that you didn’t want or even expected.

However, there is no point in locking yourself up in frustration and bitterness. After all, these are the attitudes that keep you from dealing with it and moving on.

The energy you expend complaining is exactly the amount you need to overcome the situations that look like obstacles.

For this reason, in addition to avoiding becoming a chronic complainer, it is essential that you also understand that you don’t have to sit there and listen to people who are always complaining.

You can’t pretend to solve other people’s problems if you need that energy to live your own life.

So, what can you do about it?

1. Distance yourself from people who are always complaining

Try to avoid these people if possible because they will only try to manipulate you.

The less attention you give them, the sooner you will understand that you don’t have to put energy into listening to their negative thoughts.

2. Make them understand that they are their own problems

Even if you take the time to listen to their complaining, let the person know that they have these problems through their way of thinking.

And the most important thing is that you don’t let the situation get to you. Advise them to take steps themselves so that they can resolve it themselves.

3. Show no weakness

These people have shown that they can manipulate others with their negative thoughts. That’s why it’s essential to keep a shield up. This shows that you don’t want to help them with every problem that arises.

While compassion is sometimes unavoidable, try to keep the situation under control. That way, you don’t feel the need to help if the problem has nothing to do with you.

4. Set Your Limits

Finally, remember that you have the right to demand that someone not share their tragedies and complaints with you. When you’re done listening to people who are always complaining every day, tell them you don’t care and you don’t want to be their shoulder to cry on.

Do you have a friend or family member who is always complaining? It’s time to act against it! Do not follow them in what they do. Otherwise, at some point, it will start to feel like all their negativity is messing up your own life.