Don’t Let People Pull You Into Their Own Storm

Before we begin, we need to differentiate between your storms and problems and other people’s storms and problems. You also need to learn to discern negative thoughts and find solutions  that make you feel good and give you peace of mind.

Some people are able to create their own storm, but then start crying when it starts to rain. I’m sure you know someone with such a personality. They create their own problems and afterwards they are sad because they are stuck in the maze they have created.

In most cases, the most dangerous thing about these situations is that they also drag others into their obsessions and morals or personal dilemmas. They make you feel responsible, making you take on problems that aren’t yours. Don’t allow people to do this.

This is common, especially in immature and dependent people. Creating a storm during moments of calm is something we have all experienced at some point in our lives, through periods of uncertainty.

Let’s take a look at this.

If you create a storm on a calm day

Some days it’s easy to obsess over things and not know exactly why. You famous ‘what if?’ wonder or worry about the future if something goes wrong.

These small examples are situations, thoughts and ideas that you can easily get into during your life. Don’t see it as something traumatic or dangerous. An existential crisis is an important moment that forces you to make equally important decisions.

• Everyone is able to create their own storm at any time, but it must be limited to short periods of weakness. Your confidence should help you get back on your feet and take on new projects.
• Do not regret or look down on these thoughts. Authentic courage is knowing that you have to admit that you are not feeling well  and that you need calm and light in your storm. Reorganize your thoughts.

• You have to put your feelings aside to remember what you deserve. No one deserves to go through life feeling that everyone is against them and that you have no option left.

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring is a very useful psychological strategy for dispelling mental storms from  which we have all suffered or may begin to suffer at any time.

Sometimes the mind combines emotional discomfort with these automatic thoughts that you are not aware of and that aggravate your mood. This is why it is important to keep these strategies in mind.

• Every emotion and automatic thought has a place in the brain. So if you notice that you are not feeling well, grab a notepad and write down everything that is going on in your brain.

• Use words and short sentences. Describe how you feel, what you see and what strikes you.
• This will lead to a moment where you can struggle and confront these ideas.
  • “I feel angry.”
    “People are bad.”
    “Why am I angry? Why do I think everyone is bad?”
    “Because someone hurt me?”
    “What can I do to feel better?”
    “Talk to someone about how I feel, confront the problem and release the anger I feel.”
•  If you recognize the emotion and negative thought, you need to prioritize a solution. You need to instill a positive state of freedom in your mind to help you overcome it.

Protect yourself from storms that are not yours

We have just accepted that we are also capable of creating our own storms. We know that this is an internal and personal process and that we are solely responsible for facing the problem.

A common problem is that  some people are able to pull you into their own problems, their own storms.  Don’t let people do this.

• Although you will occasionally experience moments of crisis, there are people who seem to live in a chronic state of crisis.
• These personalities are very insecure and need to be valued, affirmed and cared for, as they do not consider themselves capable of facing problems that they have created themselves.
• Maybe you have friends, relatives or even a partner who has this kind of personality.
• In these situations  , you are swallowed up by a lot of negative emotions,  which you have to listen to. So you have to solve problems that are not yours.

Set boundaries

The best way to react in situations like this is to stay balanced and set your own limits. You can help them in any way you can. However, you must make it clear that the storms that created them must be resolved by the spirit that created them.

Support them, encourage them, but try to make it clear that they are the ones who have to find their own solution. If you help them that way, they may not be satisfied.

Keep your distance emotionally.  You have your own problems and responsibilities. Do not carry the weight of others with you, as this slows down your own personal growth.

Be careful.