Dealing With Pain In A Good Way After A Loss
Both the end of a relationship and the death of a loved one requires that we give ourselves time to let our wounds heal. To do this, the key is that we deal with pain in a good way.
Pain is a process of emotional adjustment. It occurs after a loss. This pain has to do with confronting the fact that we will never see this person again. We will also have to accept that this is a process.
Coping with pain properly will enable you to successfully overcome your pain.
Today in this article we will discover how we do that and teach you how to deal with pain in a good way.
The stages of pain
To deal with pain properly, you need to remember the stages you will go through. It is not worth skipping any of these stages or getting stuck in one stage. That can happen because you are afraid of the next stage. But if you want to get out of the situation and move on, you will have to go through each stage to the end.
- Denial. We refuse to accept the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship. When we do this, we avoid having to feel the actual pain.
- Fury. Reality weighs heavily on our shoulders and hits us hard. In any situation, this makes us furious. Maybe we’ll look for someone to blame and make them responsible for what happened.
- Heap. Despite everything, we still have a little hope that we will see that person again. Or we hope that we can mend all broken ties (give the relationship a second chance).
- sadness. Then reality catches up with us. In that moment we realize that there is absolutely no hope. This causes a deep sadness.
- Acceptance. Once we’ve cried and let all our sadness come out, we embrace reality. We then accept what has happened. This gives us the opportunity to continue.
Every step has a reason. But if you cling to one of the stages and prevent the natural transition to the next stage, you will likely face even more problems.
Fear and uncertainty are our greatest enemies
Fear and uncertainty are the two emotions that can stall the grieving process. The desire to control the situation and not lose everything you have worked for up to that point is what causes this. Because it can make you spend too much time in the anger stage (for example).
The desire to blame or to see only the bad in situations can make you feel like you’re a victim of the circumstances. Or maybe you stay hopeful for no reason, for fear of being alone. But that can stop you from living your life because you’re always waiting.
You also have to be extremely careful with grief. At this stage, you need to let yourself cry and express your emotions. Because if you don’t, depression can knock on your door.
Dealing with pain in a good way starts with adjusting your emotions
It is typical that no one has taught us how to adjust our emotions. For that reason, we don’t often express how we feel. But this causes us to ‘explode’ at the worst possible moment. We also don’t cry when we need to. This can lead to depression.
It is imperative that you begin to listen to your emotions, especially during a time of pain. But more important than anything else is that you know yourself. Grieving is a painful process. But if you do it the right way, it can also be a time to discover yourself.
Then you know how to deal with your fears. We confront our insecurities and are aware of our attempts to avoid the pain. All this can be extremely enriching. Because if you do this, you will know when the right time has come to take the next step in the grieving process. You will also have no reason to be afraid.
Sooner or later the next step will come anyway. But it is your decision whether you stay in a previous stage or not. You can be sad for months at a time. Or you could end up in a depression that lasts for years. Because you couldn’t handle pain properly. This affected your emotions and even your well-being.
You decide
Open your eyes. Be critical and ask yourself many questions. Seek professional support who can help you and guide you through the process. It will definitely be a great support.
